Minutes of the Extraordinary Mango Meeting
A short story about a Diego Martin residents' meeting, a Julie mango, a dented car and the volunteer secretary who must keep neutral minutes while hiding what is in her handbag.
Drafted with AI. This version has not been reviewed by an editor, so it carries no ads — how we work.
Story Time is original short fiction. The characters, places and events in this story are invented.
MORNE COCO GARDENS RESIDENTS’ ASSOCIATION
Minutes of an Extraordinary General Meeting
Held at the Community Hall, Diego Martin, Thursday 16th June 2016, 7:00 p.m.
Present: Mr. Clyde Bartholomew (Chairman); Mrs. Vashti Ramdial (Hon. Secretary); Mrs. Gemma Lutchman (Treasurer); Mr. Kendrick Baptiste (No. 14, mover of the motion); Mr. and Mrs. Ancil Joseph (No. 12); Miss Pearl Ottley (No. 16); Mr. Hardeo Boodoo (No. 3); thirteen other residents, list attached.
[Twenty-one residents. At the last AGM we could not raise a quorum for the drain on Jasmine Avenue. A mango will bring out people that a drain cannot.]
Apologies: Mrs. Antoinette Marcano (prayer meeting).
1. Call to Order
The Chairman called the meeting to order at 7:14 p.m., the delay being due to the ceiling fans, two of which would not come on and one of which came on and would not go off. The Chairman reminded members that the hall is booked until 8:30 p.m., after which the Senior Pan Ensemble has the room, and they do not wait.
2. The Motion
Mr. Baptiste moved: “That the Julie mango tree situated on the lot behind Nos. 12, 14 and 16, which overhangs the said properties, be removed in its entirety at the expense of its owner, whoever that may be.” Seconded by Mr. Boodoo.
[Mr. Boodoo does not live near the tree. Mr. Boodoo has not recovered from the 2014 Christmas lights competition. Recorded for context only. The Secretary will strike this before typing.]
3. Discussion
3.1 Mr. Baptiste stated that he returned from Calgary in March, that his carport is not yet built, and that he must therefore park on the open driveway. In the past week three mangoes have landed on the bonnet of his car. One left a dent. The body shop in Four Roads has quoted four thousand eight hundred dollars. He presented Exhibit A: one Julie mango in a freezer bag, recovered from the bonnet on Tuesday. Exhibit A was passed around the room.
[It was a beautiful mango. Blush on the shoulder like somebody pinched it. Aunty Basdai would have held it to her nose and said, “That one ready since yesterday.” The Secretary did not pass it along as quickly as she might have.]
3.2 Mrs. Joseph stated that the mangoes landing on her galvanize sound like “somebody throwing stones at the house from Heaven,” and that they bring flies. The Chairman asked the Secretary to read back Mrs. Joseph’s statement. The Secretary read it back. Mrs. Joseph clarified that she did not say she wanted the tree cut, only that it was a nuisance, “and a nuisance I does put in a bottle,” referring to her amchar.
3.3 Miss Ottley stated that the tree was there before any of them. “Basdai Ramdial plant that tree the year of Independence. I watch she do it.” Miss Ottley asked who owns the lot now. The Chairman stated that the lot is believed vacant since Mrs. Ramdial’s passing in 2014 and that nobody has come forward.
[The Secretary’s pen ran out here. The Secretary had a second pen in her handbag. The Secretary did not need a second pen; she needed a minute. The handbag also contains the land registry printout, folded in four, which has been in there since February 2015 because I could not decide which drawer it belonged in.]
Mr. Baptiste asked, “Ramdial? Like the Secretary?” The Secretary noted for the record that Ramdial is a common surname.
[It is not that common. There are two pages of us in the directory. Aunty is on one of them. So am I.]
3.4 Mr. Boodoo asked whether the Association could petition the Regional Corporation to remove the tree as abandoned property. The Treasurer observed that the Corporation cannot remove a pothole. Laughter.
3.5 The Chairman called for an indicative show of hands. For: nine. Against: nine. Undecided: three, including the Treasurer, who stated she would decide after she smelled Exhibit A properly.
[The Secretary does not vote. The Secretary is very grateful to whoever wrote the constitution, even though it was the Secretary, in 2009, on her sister’s computer.]
3.6 The Chairman asked the Secretary to read back Mr. Baptiste’s original statement, for the benefit of the undecided. The Secretary read it back. Mr. Baptiste then added: “And every morning I come outside and the mangoes on the ground gone already. Somebody picking them up before six o’clock. I never even get to eat one. All I get is the dent.”
[This is true. It is me. I go at twenty to six with a bucket, because Aunty always said a Julie that touch the ground must be picked up before the corbeaux and the schoolchildren. I had never once thought about who was standing behind the curtains at No. 14, watching his mangoes walk off in a bucket.]
The time being 8:09 p.m., the Chairman proposed to put the motion to a vote.
4. Any Other Business
On a point of order, the Secretary requested that Any Other Business be taken before the vote, owing to the Pan Ensemble. The Chairman, having been Chairman since 2003, agreed that this was in keeping with the constitution.
[It is not. Clause 9(c) says nothing of the sort. Nobody has read Clause 9(c).]
The Secretary asked to read a statement into the minutes. It is recorded here in full, as read:
“The lot behind Nos. 12, 14 and 16 is not vacant. My aunt, Basdai Ramdial, left it to me in her will, and the transfer was registered in February of last year. The printout from the Registrar General is in my handbag, and I am putting it on the table now. I did not say anything because I was afraid that the minute people knew the tree was mine, it would stop being the street’s tree and start being Vashti’s problem. I am the one picking up the mangoes at twenty to six. I am sorry about the dent. I will pay for the dent.”
[I put the printout on the table. It was damp. Everything in this hall is damp. My hand was damp also. Nobody said anything for one full turn of the fan that would not go off.]
Mrs. Joseph stated, “Well, look at Miss Secretary.” Miss Ottley stated that she knew all along: “Who else going to tie a headtie at quarter to six to pick mango?”
[I was not aware I had been seen. It appears I have been seen by everybody on the street, every morning, for sixteen months.]
The Secretary then proposed as follows: that the owner pay for the dent in monthly instalments; that the branches over the driveway of No. 14 be pruned, not the tree; and that Mr. Baptiste be given first pick of every harvest, the Secretary to deliver to No. 14 before collecting any for herself. Seconded by Mrs. Joseph, on condition that her amchar allowance remain unchanged.
Mr. Baptiste asked how many mangoes “first pick” meant. The Secretary replied, as many as he could carry. Mr. Baptiste stated that he had not eaten a Julie since 2009, that in Calgary they sell them for six dollars Canadian apiece, and that they taste like a candle.
[He said this to the table. Then he said it again, to me.]
Mr. Baptiste stated that the Secretary should keep her money and prune the branch, since it was the branch he minded. Mr. Baptiste withdrew the motion. Mr. Boodoo asked to withdraw his seconding instead, and was informed that this is not a thing. The motion was withdrawn regardless.
5. Chow
Mr. Baptiste asked whether anybody could tell him how to make mango chow properly, as his mother’s recipe went with her and he remembers only that it had shado beni in it. What followed is recorded in summary, the Secretary being unable to keep up.
5.1 Mrs. Joseph: half-ripe Julie, shado beni, garlic, Congo pepper, lime, salt. No cucumber. “Cucumber is for people who fraid pepper.”
5.2 Miss Ottley: cucumber is permitted, and so is a little pommecythere if you have it.
5.3 Mr. Boodoo: chow must sit twenty minutes. Mrs. Joseph: chow that sits is salad.
5.4 The Treasurer smelled Exhibit A, declared her undecided vote moot, and wished it recorded that a pinch of brown sugar improves the whole thing. Uproar.
[The Secretary has recorded the Treasurer’s position as required. The Secretary does not endorse it.]
5.5 The Chairman asked the Secretary to read back Mrs. Joseph’s recipe. The Secretary declined, stating that the Secretary also has a recipe, it is Aunty Basdai’s, it has a little black pepper in it, and that is all she is prepared to say at this time.
5.6 It was agreed that a chow tasting be held at the next ordinary meeting, all residents to bring a bowl, judged blind by Mr. Baptiste as the only neutral party.
5.7 Exhibit A was eaten by Mr. Baptiste during item 5.3, with the assistance of Miss Ottley’s penknife and Mrs. Joseph’s salt, which she carries.
6. Adjournment
The meeting was adjourned at 8:31 p.m., on the arrival of the Senior Pan Ensemble with the tenor pans.
Signed: Vashti Ramdial, Hon. Secretary
Confirmed: ____________________, Chairman
[Note for the file: these minutes are not neutral. I will type a neutral copy for the noticeboard tomorrow. This copy goes in Aunty’s folder, with the printout, which I have finally decided belongs in there. Bucket is by the back door. Five-forty. No. 14 first.]
